Jokes..

[Gatsby]

Pammy got so fed-up being ripped off that she decided to do a course in the evenings on Home Improvements / DIY.

So pleased was she at the end of the course that she decided to put her new-found expertise to good use and went around a number of houses in the Whitehall area to drum up some business as a handyman-type.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 Euro?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the bould Pammy came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," Pammy answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the €50. "And by the way," the Pammy added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Haha. VG.

Was she doing 'Bob-A-Job?

[Bang Bang]

Haha. VG.

Was she doing 'Bob-A-Job?

That's even better, Gatz.

What a job for that Bob!

[Bang Bang]

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.

‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it, duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.’”

What'd You Think?

[Bang Bang]

Why Male Deer have such long antlers!!!!!!!

[Capt Patch]

What's the worst part of a 69er ? ............................ the view !

apologies if I've offended anyone.

[kevinhoran]

That's even better, Gatz.

What a job for that Bob!

jaysis , dere you are bang bang , atb , Kevin h.

[Curious Girl]

AAHHH **** THE PAIN **
A dentist pulled out a hypodermic to give his patient a painkiller.

'No way! No needles! I hate needles,' the patient said.

So the dentist started to hook up the nitrous oxide and once again the bloke objected.
'I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!'

The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objection to taking a pill.

'No problem,' the bloke said. 'I'm fine with pills.'

The dentist said, 'Here's a Viagra tablet.'

The bloke gasped, 'Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a painkiller!'

'It doesn't.' Said the dentist. 'But it will give you something to hold on to while I extract your tooth.

This is too cute. My assistant is like this big lumber jack sized guy....yeah I have a male secretary.....anyways, he's totally freaked at the dentist. I gotta send him this.

[Bang Bang]

Sometimes a picture is worth..............

[Putz]

Boys need parents because :-

http://www.dublinforum.net/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=237&stc=1&d=1256397174

[Putz]

http://www.dublinforum.net/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=238&stc=1&d=1256397317

[Putz]

http://www.dublinforum.net/forum/att...1&d=1256397517

[Putz]

And still more reasons why boys need parents:-

http://www.dublinforum.net/forum/att...1&d=1256397878

[khaleduz]

A nun arrives at the local bar
John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

"You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!"

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

"How do you know this, Sister?"

"My Mother Superior told me so."

"But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?"

"Don't be ridiculous--of course I have never taken alcohol myself"

"Then let me buy you a drink - if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life"

"How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!"

"I'll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know."

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

"Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks", then he lowers his voice and says to the barman "and could you put the vodka in a teacup?"

"Oh no! It's not that Nun again is it?"

[Bang Bang]

Hot, hot, hot


"Please, Pammy, please."
"Oh leave me alone, Barry."
"But it won't take long."
"If I do, I won't be able to sleep afterwards."
"Well, if you don’t, I won’t be able to sleep either."
"Why do you have to think of such a thing just before I go to sleep?"
"Because I'm hot, hot, hot, that’s why, Pammy."
"You always get hot at the wrong times, Barry."
"If you really loved me, you wouldn’t be making me beg you."
"Well, if you really loved me, you'd be more considerate."
"Don’t you love me anymore?"
"Of course I do, Barry, but let's forget it for tonight."
"Oh please, Pammy."
"OK, OK, I'll do it - anything for a quiet life!"
"What's keeping you?"
"I can't find it."
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Pammy, feel for it."
"There! Now are you satisfied?"
"Oh yeh, that's good."
"Is it up far enough?"
"Yes, oh yes."

(Scroll Down)



"Now go to sleep and when you next want the window open, open it yourself."

[Gatsby]

If you can't find the book you want, you're probably shopping at the: