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  • Abusers....

    I hate to bring up this subject again............but I am so angry ....that is puttin it mildly......Im fuming....

    Lately I heard of a young person who was abused as a young child.....the person is now gay...(dont dont if the abuse is the cause)....but they havnt told their parents....afraid it will destroy them..........the abuser is a very close friend of the family.....and I believe now in jail ....for somethin else............the person is sufferin so much at the minute that friends dont know what to do......should they tell the parents and get this guy.....or what...

    And then I heard of a case at the weekend of another person I know very well....who was abused as a child (as was this persons sibling).....by an uncle......the reprecussions of this abuse is so bad it will be with the person for life..........and it has a knock on effect on all around them....

    These abusers should be put away for good......as I keep sayin they do their time....but the victim does life....
    It is what it is.

  • #2
    What you have not mentioned Pam is ...have the abusers been reported t the police? If not how can anything be done?
    Originally posted by Pammy View Post
    I hate to bring up this subject again............but I am so angry ....that is puttin it mildly......Im fuming....

    Lately I heard of a young person who was abused as a young child.....the person is now gay...(dont dont if the abuse is the cause)....but they havnt told their parents....afraid it will destroy them..........the abuser is a very close friend of the family.....and I believe now in jail ....for somethin else............the person is sufferin so much at the minute that friends dont know what to do......should they tell the parents and get this guy.....or what...

    And then I heard of a case at the weekend of another person I know very well....who was abused as a child (as was this persons sibling).....by an uncle......the reprecussions of this abuse is so bad it will be with the person for life..........and it has a knock on effect on all around them....

    These abusers should be put away for good......as I keep sayin they do their time....but the victim does life....

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Pammy View Post
      I hate to bring up this subject again............but I am so angry ....that is puttin it mildly......Im fuming....

      Lately I heard of a young person who was abused as a young child.....the person is now gay...(dont dont if the abuse is the cause)....but they havnt told their parents....afraid it will destroy them..........the abuser is a very close friend of the family.....and I believe now in jail ....for somethin else............the person is sufferin so much at the minute that friends dont know what to do......should they tell the parents and get this guy.....or what...

      And then I heard of a case at the weekend of another person I know very well....who was abused as a child (as was this persons sibling).....by an uncle......the reprecussions of this abuse is so bad it will be with the person for life..........and it has a knock on effect on all around them....

      These abusers should be put away for good......as I keep sayin they do their time....but the victim does life....
      I have always maintained that offenders in this category of crime who are proven to be repeat offenders should face the penalty of chemical castration. All reports suggest that this perversion is incurable, so the above course would protect the vulnerable in society.
      Before the bleeding heart brigade attack I do not suggest this lightly and all avenues of investigation and protection should be pursued.
      noli illegitimi carborundum

      Comment


      • #4
        Firstly Pam if there is any abuse that the parents don't know about it's important that they are informed for two reasons. Primarily, they can support they youngster. Secondarily, if they don't support/believe the youngster then they need to be told then they don't deserve to be called good parents.

        The important thing to remember is the abused. Non-abused don't know what the fuss is, so can't really comment.
        Such is life - Ned Kelly

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Womblemum View Post
          What you have not mentioned Pam is ...have the abusers been reported t the police? If not how can anything be done?

          Thats just it........the first person I mentioned first...wont go to the police as they dont want their parents to know....

          And the second one I mentioned ..... never told anyone.....it was found in a diary.......devasted the family and the person now has ongoin problems and will have for life......the abuser died earlier this year ....having never been reported.........
          It is what it is.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by boxman View Post
            Firstly Pam if there is any abuse that the parents don't know about it's important that they are informed for two reasons. Primarily, they can support they youngster. Secondarily, if they don't support/believe the youngster then they need to be told then they don't deserve to be called good parents.

            The important thing to remember is the abused. Non-abused don't know what the fuss is, so can't really comment.

            Yes Boxy I do beleive that non abused .....have absolutely no idea what it is like ......and I suppose cant blame them.......

            And one eye.....I dont care a damn about the "do gooders" in this life.....if the person is proved to have been the perpetrater then yes I say castrate the bastard...........They have no idea of the devastion they are causing......
            It is what it is.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Pammy View Post
              Yes Boxy I do beleive that non abused .....have absolutely no idea what it is like ......and I suppose cant blame them.......

              And one eye.....I dont care a damn about the "do gooders" in this life.....if the person is proved to have been the perpetrater then yes I say castrate the bastard...........They have no idea of the devastion they are causing......
              As you say Pammy the victim gets a life sentence and the abuser moves on.
              noli illegitimi carborundum

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Pammy View Post
                Yes Boxy I do beleive that non abused .....have absolutely no idea what it is like ......and I suppose cant blame them.......

                And one eye.....I dont care a damn about the "do gooders" in this life.....if the person is proved to have been the perpetrater then yes I say castrate the bastard...........They have no idea of the devastion they are causing......
                If you think about it Pam, how could non-abused know what it is like.
                Such is life - Ned Kelly

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pammy View Post
                  Yes Boxy I do beleive that non abused .....have absolutely no idea what it is like ......and I suppose cant blame them.......

                  And one eye.....I dont care a damn about the "do gooders" in this life.....if the person is proved to have been the perpetrater then yes I say castrate the bastard...........They have no idea of the devastion they are causing......

                  there are a lot of people abused.....and the abusers have got away scot free because the abused have not told anyone about it....but the abused have went on to lead nomal lives because of that......there is a fine line between what is the best or the worst for the abused.........i speak from experience
                  Here Rex!!!...Here Rex!!!.....Wuff!!!....... Wuff!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by quinner View Post
                    there are a lot of people abused.....and the abusers have got away scot free because the abused have not told anyone about it....but the abused have went on to lead nomal lives because of that......there is a fine line between what is the best or the worst for the abused.........i speak from experience

                    Joe the thing is once an abuser always an abuser......I dont know whats to be done in these situations.......it is hard for the abused to speak out.....yes I've been there (not as a child)......and you feel its your fault somehow....even logically you know its not........you feel ashamed.......but we have to try and stop this way of thinking........ if a person is abused.....IT IS NEVER THEIR FAULT......

                    Sorry for ranting on but you have no idea how I feel....Im so angry coz in a small way my life is now affected because of some fucking bastard..........
                    It is what it is.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pammy View Post
                      Joe the thing is once an abuser always an abuser......I dont know whats to be done in these situations.......it is hard for the abused to speak out.....yes I've been there (not as a child)......and you feel its your fault somehow....even logically you know its not........you feel ashamed.......but we have to try and stop this way of thinking........ if a person is abused.....IT IS NEVER THEIR FAULT......

                      Sorry for ranting on but you have no idea how I feel....Im so angry coz in a small way my life is now affected because of some fucking bastard..........
                      pammy..you go on as much much as you like...i am a great listener....if it make you feel any better i will be happy to listen......i do hope you can put it to a part of your mind....where it just becomes something in the past...i know it is hard and painful....but that horrible person must not be allowed to carry on punishing you for doing nothing .......lots of love to you
                      Here Rex!!!...Here Rex!!!.....Wuff!!!....... Wuff!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by quinner View Post
                        pammy..you go on as much much as you like...i am a great listener....if it make you feel any better i will be happy to listen......i do hope you can put it to a part of your mind....where it just becomes something in the past...i know it is hard and painful....but that horrible person must not be allowed to carry on punishing you for doing nothing .......lots of love to you
                        Thank you Joe..
                        It is what it is.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think it's a very difficult situation to make a choice on. The victim is usually so ashamed and often blames themselves for the situation. On the one hand you must take their wishes into consideration BUT on the other hand the abuser must be confronted and outed. The parents should know but not without the consent of the victim .... perhaps if you could persuade the victim to seek professional help there may be a path eventually of getting the parents involved and the perpetrator into custody.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Capt Patch View Post
                            I think it's a very difficult situation to make a choice on. The victim is usually so ashamed and often blames themselves for the situation. On the one hand you must take their wishes into consideration BUT on the other hand the abuser must be confronted and outed. The parents should know but not without the consent of the victim .... perhaps if you could persuade the victim to seek professional help there may be a path eventually of getting the parents involved and the perpetrator into custody.
                            i am not sure about the professional help bit...................too prying for my liking.......expands the information in your memory.....when it needs to be shrunk
                            Here Rex!!!...Here Rex!!!.....Wuff!!!....... Wuff!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Pammy View Post
                              I hate to bring up this subject again............but I am so angry ....that is puttin it mildly......Im fuming....

                              Lately I heard of a young person who was abused as a young child.....the person is now gay...(dont dont if the abuse is the cause)....but they havnt told their parents....afraid it will destroy them..........the abuser is a very close friend of the family.....and I believe now in jail ....for somethin else............the person is sufferin so much at the minute that friends dont know what to do......should they tell the parents and get this guy.....or what...

                              And then I heard of a case at the weekend of another person I know very well....who was abused as a child (as was this persons sibling).....by an uncle......the reprecussions of this abuse is so bad it will be with the person for life..........and it has a knock on effect on all around them....

                              These abusers should be put away for good......as I keep sayin they do their time....but the victim does life....
                              Pammy,

                              I wonder if the parents are of an age where knowing would not be in their best interests, making the pain even worse for the abused.

                              But if not then it's important to try to persuade the abused to take their family into their confidence. This is important so that the abuser can be isolated and the abused receive the support of a caring family.

                              There is no 'cure' for an abuser. These are people who make a concious decision to choose the one they will abuse and to carefully prepare that child or person for whats to come. They also use a form of blackmail against the abused.

                              The only 'cure' currently available in ths country is for the abuser to serve a prison sentence and be placed on the sex offenders register.

                              A councillor with experience of dealing with abuse can be invaluable in assisting the abused to deal with their pain... a non directive councellor. I know of those who have never spoken to anyone, preferring to keep what they perceive as shame to themselves, only to attempt and even succeed in suicide at worst, and at best to live a life of utter misery.

                              There are councellors that an abuser should never speak to, so if councelling is decided on the councellor should be carefully sought out and must be one with experience in this field.

                              I hope the people you speak of find peace in the love and support of those who genuinely care for them.
                              'Never look down on a person unless you're helping them up'.
                              .

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