Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Rofl

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Mick goes into DCC and applies for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes caffeine. I cant drink coffee."

    "OK, have you ever been in the Irish army? "Yes, I was in the Lebanon for 3 years." The interviewer says, "That will give you an extra 5 points towards employment."

    Then he asks "Are you disabled in any way?".
    Mick says, Yes a bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer says "Disabled in the line of duty for your Country! Well that qualifies you for bonus points.

    Okay. You have enough points, I can hire you right now. Our normal working hours are from 8.00 am to 4.00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10.00am and plan on starting at 10.00 am every day.

    Mick is a bit confused and asks, "if the work hours are from 8am to 4pm, why don't you want me here till 10.00am?"

    The interviewer says, "This is the Council , for the first 2 hours we stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
    UP THE DUBS!!!

    Comment


    • #17
      ...................
      Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
      I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
      Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by jembo View Post
        ...................
        Kin rotfpmsl
        We'll sail be the tide....aarghhhh !!

        Comment


        • #19
          Joe speaking Russian

          We'll sail be the tide....aarghhhh !!

          Comment


          • #20
            .......................
            Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
            I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
            Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by jembo View Post
              ...................
              Originally posted by jembo View Post
              .......................
              UP THE DUBS!!!

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Suzieq View Post
                Don't you go tryin dat there missy suzie q....you hear me !!!!.....else aa gonna tell yur mamma !!!!
                We'll sail be the tide....aarghhhh !!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by DAMNTHEWEATHER View Post
                  Don't you go tryin dat there missy suzie q....you hear me !!!!.....else aa gonna tell yur mamma !!!!
                  UP THE DUBS!!!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by suzieq View Post
                    ........
                    We'll sail be the tide....aarghhhh !!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      cow selfie.
                      Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                      in god i trust...everyone else cash only.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        ........................
                        Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                        I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                        Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          .........................
                          Last edited by cogito; 28-03-2022, 08:41 PM.
                          I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                          Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.
                            He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?"
                            The boy replied, "What turkey?"
                            The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."
                            The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"
                            The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.
                            If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"
                            The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"
                            I google because I'm not young enough to know everything.
                            Nemo Mortalium Omnibus Horis Sapit

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by jembo View Post
                              .....................
                              jembo that is like the priest who addressed his congregation saying stand up anyone who wants to go to hell...Mick stood up with the same reply.
                              today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Lol

                                Things can get out of hand pretty quickly in these times.
                                What a morning...

                                8:00 I made a snowman.
                                8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
                                8:15 I made a snow woman.
                                8:17 The nanny of the neighbours complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
                                8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
                                8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
                                8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
                                8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
                                8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on.
                                8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter : "Yeah, if it's up your a***"
                                8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
                                9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.
                                9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
                                9:29 ISIS just claimed responsibility...
                                UP THE DUBS!!!

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X