why Suicide...?

[Hagar]

I find it hard to believe anyone on this forum has not encountered people with depression.

We probably have but I suspect people with depression put on their bravest face when in company and then completely slump when alone. That is when they are at their most vulnerable. I don't even think they are completely frank with those trying to help, I think there is always another level of darkness below what they reveal that they can't bring themselves to share. No one wants to completely bare their soul to another. We always keep something private for ourselves, why would the depressed do any different?

[quinner]

am I getting the impression here that nothing can be done......

[Hagar]

I wouldn't say that.

Failed suicide attempts are without doubt "cries for help", I think we can and should do something for them.
Actual suicides are screams of "leave me alone, I don't want this any more", all we can do is respect their decision and comfort their loved ones.

[quinner]

I wouldn't say that.

Failed suicide attempts are without doubt "cries for help", I think we can and should do something for them.
Actual suicides are screams of "leave me alone, I don't want this any more", all we can do is respect their decision and comfort their loved ones.

your post, like some others gives me the impression that you think nothing can be done....

Anybody who can read this, no matter how many time they have thought of doing it......Haven't.....

Now, something must have stopped them.....So, there must be an answer to stop others....

[Eileen]

I think on the surface it may appear that way, but I'm sure many suicides really do believe (or have convinced themselves) that their family and friends will be better off without them. I doubt if a suicide is thinking rationally at all. Until you've dealt with depression yourself, you have no idea of the depth of despair and irrational thought.

That's exactly what I'm saying! (I guess I just didn't say it well. Sorry!) They can't see beyond the pain.

[Hagar]

You seem want me to say that all potential suicides can be helped. I don't believe they can. Yes, something can be done for some, but only for some.
Some people can be led to a solution to their problem by others, some people have already found their own solution and don't want outside interference. Not all potential suicides can be saved by good intentions. Some can but not all.

[Eileen]

a

I think that is exactly what Eileen was saying, Dave. Most people would see the issue from an objective viewpoint: you feel you've messed up, been a failure with your marriage, your kids, your finances, but all these things can be rectified.......to the depressed person, all these failures are due to the ineptitude of themselves.....they are at fault, they are responsible....it is down to self-esteem.

Exactly.

[quinner]

You seem want me to say that all potential suicides can be helped. I don't believe they can. Yes, something can be done for some, but only for some.
Some people can be led to a solution to their problem by others, some people have already found their own solution and don't want outside interference. Not all potential suicides can be saved by good intentions. Some can but not all.

i don't want you or anybody else to give up.....

Sweeping this problem under the carpet is not in my opinion the way to go....
Suicide I believe is not a split-second decision, I believe it is a long drawn out process. There are many cancellations, so the person is well aware of their thoughts....
These thoughts are the key to solve the problem......

[silver spoon]

quinner have you ever felt depressed.? depression can have a major effect on your health inasmuch as it is hard to sleep, and when you can't sleep you can get feelings of anxiety, if this continues it is hard to function. Have you ever met a person with depression, or found out when it was too late. If a person can get help or if friends recognize the symptons and try to get their friend help, they might save their life, but when you are depressed it is hard to talk about it.

[quinner]

quinner have you ever felt depressed.? depression can have a major effect on your health inasmuch as it is hard to sleep, and when you can't sleep you can get feelings of anxiety, if this continues it is hard to function. Have you ever met a person with depression, or found out when it was too late. If a person can get help or if friends recognize the symptons and try to get their friend help, they might save their life, but when you are depressed it is hard to talk about it.

ss...that is a negative outlook.....to help or even solve this problem there has to be a positive outlook....

those whose have committed suicide cannot make a contribution to this thread.

Those that have been on the brink I believe can.......By explaining what exactly stopped the from crossing the line........Maybe those same things can stop others from doing so....

There is a future for everybody......

''To lose everything''.........Puts a person in a position that is the same as...''starting with nothing''..........And, starting with nothing is not a reason to commit suicide.....

[silver spoon]

quinner why is my post negative.?

[quinner]

quinner why is my post negative.?

ss..you are talking about depression etc........

I am referring to people who commit suicide.....Maybe some do commit suicide when they are depressed, but from what I have heard there are millions suffering from depression........They do not all commit suicide.....

I am only concerned with those that take the ''final step''.....Whether they suffer from depression or not.......

whether it is somebody I know or somebody that comes up to me in the street, I would like them to know that I am there if needed when they feel so low that there seems no way out.......And they can also approach anybody that is available.......

[Eileen]

Ok, here's a little story. A man lost his wife to cancer at a very young age. She was just 42. Their daughters were grown, but just barely as they were 23, 21 and 19. The man never recovered from his wife's death. He could no longer be a father, a brother, a son. As his grandchildren were born he barely acknowledge them. He was trapped in his own sadness. He tried to kill himself several times. Each time his daughters would leave their families to go to him. They could never get him to understand how much he was loved and needed. He told them over and over, year after year that he'd never be happy until he was with their mother again.
One morning his sister stopped by with some coffee and muffins as was her habit. She found him on the living room floor. He had finally found peace. He had gone to his wife. His 90 year old father rushed to the house and walked into see his son dead on the floor in a pool of blood. The father knelt next to him and lifted his son into his arms and prayed for him as he cried for his son.
This was six years ago. My father was 65 years old. He waited 22 years to die and when he finally succeeded we cried for loss of our father. The truth was we lost him the day our mother died. And we cried because he was finally at peace.

[Hagar]

Jesus Eileen that's heart wrenching. I'm sorry for your loss and I thank you for your candour.

[Rashers]

Eileen. Wonderful how you told that story, its heartbreaking.

May I express that I'm truly sorry for your grievous loss.